My boyfrnd kissed my heart :(( i feel terrible.. i feel i'm bad?

i feel it ws too much before marriage.. n i want to punish myself.. i din go to my school reunion which ws once in a lifetym thing.. tat ws my punishment to myself.. but now i'm not satiafied.. i wanna punish myself more.. i feel very very BAD!!! wn i see other gals i feel they're so good cos they've not kissed but i hav.. i feel all this **** !!